yea. i begin reading people's blog again. sigh. i concluded reading others is better then blogging yourself. you die of depression blogging. sigh. kays now i dunno wad i am writing. yea i told myself to start working hard from now on. that was 3 days ago on fri the start of a long weekend. and now it sun, erm almost hitting mon in a few minutes. and g r e a t. i realised i did nothing. yea nothing. so much more bout my discipline and motivation to study. i got it all planned out kays. wells. yea i din accomplish any in the end. it seems that i am losing my senses. somehow i really wish just by turning around. turning around sounds shoopid. say turn around and make a wish.. i could be somewhere far away. say africa? or europe? nope.no good. think i will be a beggar there. 'ar-ti-ly' poor. great i dunno how to spell. let it enlight in my mind then i shall change it. okays now wad i am toking about. yea. be somewhere far away. sometime when i listen to mp3 i just wish i could enter the song and stay there. not coming out. kays i am not toking sense again. yea long weekends. i rather not have them. ok. yea today's mothers' day. i realised i loved my mum alot. i really wanted to make her happy. days been bad. to see her feeling so lonely when we all girls are happily out with our friends only to come back late at home to see her alone at home. i really hate to rebel and disobey, but you know its in the teens' genes and you cannot really do much about it. i really stare at my mum sometime with tears from a corner (illustration) i really hope we could once celebrate fathers' day again. and let my mum's life be filled with love and meaning again. wells. i guess it all in God's perfect plan. we shall just learn to accept. just that its hard. "he will not give us trials that we cannot bear" i shall hold on to that. just remind me if i fall one day. well. this is getting sad. i shall write something happier. yea i finally decided to go churchcamp. woo. its me and me alone. no mum or sis. haha. good or bad? havoc at nite? =D yesh.freedom i guess. i appreciate that. guess i need the fellowship there. or i will continue to sink in the middle of the pacific ocean. i am looking forward to it. but somehow i dread it. maybe i am insane again. haha. for now only. today's sunday school we were discussing about how to witness to your non-believer friends. i realised i have been quite useless these few years. i feel ashamed. yet so helpless at the same time. why God you don want to put me somewhere where i can grow to be stronger but instead put me somewhere where i will grow to feel weaker? guess its all bout me giving escuses. i ought to feel more ashamed. ok. think i write enough. some hormone ranging inside me let me burr out all these. guess this is my first writing so much. right. Amen.
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isaiah 40:31
"but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint"
